Why so serious?

Over the weekend I saw The Dark Knight.  Actually, I went to a 12:30 am showing at IMAX.  Suffice it to say that I am still in awe over Heath Ledgers performance as the Joker.  Honestly, I was afraid that the critics had hyped it up too much and because of his death they made it to be more than what it is.  But my goodness... it was extraordinary!  To fully inhabit such a dark character as he did, well it's sad to say, but I'm not surprised that he overdosed... even if it was accidental.  

I wish I had more to say about this... but there are no words... and sometimes that's the greatest compliment one could give.  

Age is just a number

Working sure has kept me busy... but never fear... I will always come back to blog world to talk about the great, the ridiculous, and the absurd.  

Recently, I've come to the conclusion that the age 29 does not exist.  I realize how crazy that sounds... but think about it...

When you're 29 and someone says... "hey, how old are you?" and you said with confidence "I'm 29", the response that inevitably follows is "ohh... so you're almost 30 huh?".  

Almost 30.  I've been almost 30 for almost a year now.  Why can't people be happy with 29?  It's a simple number.  Even adding the 2 and 9 together isn't hard.  But for some odd reason no one can grasp that 29 actually exists... it's doomed to always be known as "almost 30".  

Although I've learned to embrace my almost 30-ness... I feel as though I've lost a year of my life by not being referred to as 29.  

So kiddies... for the future... when you encounter someone whose almost 30... perhaps it would be best if you broke tradition and referred to them as what they  really are... 29... the very last year that they get to say they're in their 20's.  Which is sad and exciting all at the same time. :-)  

Love Your Monkey

First and foremost, my humblest apologies for not blogging sooner.  I actually got a job.  OK... not really.  I got 3 jobs!  Amazing right?  I would go into what I'm doing for a living these days... but it would take too long to describe.  Suffice to say I'm a happy chicklette right now.  

So I've been holding on to this story for a bit only because I needed some time to digest it.  I knew however, that I needed to share it with you all.  Since I have no life, I was home during the week and found myself watching this bizarre Primetime program on stories of the absurd.  This particular little nugget was about people who adopt monkeys and treat them as babies.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love me some monkeys!  Honestly.  I'm like a man when I see a monkey on TV in the way that I get so tranfixed that only the monkey and I exist in the world and nothing could distract me from my "monkey and me moment".  However, treating these amazing little finger sniffing animals like babies was way to bizarre for me.  

One of the couples were people whose children had grown up and moved out.  They missed the pitter patter of little feet but didn't want to try and survive those teenage years again.  And who could blame them for that... I was a total bitch as a teenager.  Hence why they didn't adopt a real baby like normal people.  So they got a monkey.  Their day consists of bathing, feeding, and changing her dirty diapers and clothes.  Yes, they put her in human clothing.  At the very least you could get a puppy and dress it up... but wait... that's right... puppies get old and become dependent.  This monkey sleeps in the bed with them at night as well.  

By the way, in order to keep her and to make sure that she doesn't hurt them, they took out her teeth.  How inhumane is that?!  

Alright... so I spent a few days thinking about this right?  And I've come to the conclusion that the only reason possible for an older couple to want to spend the rest of their life cleaning up after another fully dependent "child" for its life is because they are terrified of facing each other and their marriage.  They want the distraction.  They've been dealing with their children for so long that they don't know how to deal with each other... or have sex for that matter.  Because there's no way they're gonna have sex in front of their "baby" that shares the bed with them!  The only thing they think they have in common is raising children.  Which isn't true because why would you get married in the first place?

Yes... people change.  I get that.  But I think when you become an empty nester it's the perfect time for you to have fun and explore your marriage.  Get to know your partner... even if it's all over again.  There has to be some fun in that!  I guess I just don't understand why two people who are FINALLY alone with each other would want to avoid this amazing time in your life and corrupt it with cleaning up poopy diapers again... from a MONKEY!  

Obviously, I'm of the opinion that adopting a monkey as a surrogate child is wrong.  They're way more complex than dogs or cats and should just be left in the wild where they belong.  However, maybe you'll change your mind once you read the article I've attached.  I'd be interested to hear others opinions about this one.  Although, I can't fathom there being a good argument for this crazy monkey business.  

Monkey Article 

Forgotten "Bits of the Bizarre"

I have no idea how I forgot to put this in!  Perhaps my old age is getting to me... that or my ADD distracted me... who knows!  BUT... there is a woman in America who thought it would be a wonderful idea to have a life-size wedding cake version of her, in her wedding dress, for all her family and friends to enjoy.  ... Classy!  

Our debutant cake is dressed just like the bride with all sorts of icing and on the inside?  Vanilla.  This is needless to say every girls dream come true.  Thanks for getting the ball rolling for the rest of us!  

Cake O' Elegance

If anything... it certainly adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "eat me"!  

Bits of the Bizarre

The one thing about not being able to work and staying home all day, is the amount of useless and entertaining news that you come across.  I'd like to share a few things that have... gotten my attention.  

First, more recent, and less bizarre are the girls in Massachusetts that made a pact to get preggers.  We all know about this story.  I don't have much to say except I'm mind boggled at the fact that the school offers pregnancy tests and day care services for the students that already have babies... but they refuse to offer contraception!  Don't you think a few condoms are cheaper than hiring baby sitters for a day?  If you've happened to fallen off of the face of the Earth for the past week than here's the article. 

Pregger Pact 

TMZ announced this week that Mini-Me made a sex tape!  That's right folks.  The best part about this is that because mini-me is... well... mini... they claimed the tape looks like child birth... backwards.  Needless to say, I think we all won't avert our eyes to this... I'm sure it'll be very educational indeed!  

Backwards Birth

Now, there comes a day when every woman is faced with a life and death decision and her bra comes to the rescue!  A woman got lost hiking and used her sports bra to send a signal that she needed help.  Apparently, it was found by a few lumberjack.  When you hear the word lumberjack... doesn't "sex deprived" come to mind?  I think their drive to find her was all in part because they thought they'd find a hot topless woman... but hey... whatever works right?  

Bra's Save the World

I have a new found love for Keith Olbermann.  For those of you who have no idea who that is, he's an anchor on MSNBC.  He introduced me to a guy named Jeffrey Barrier.  Good ol' Jeffy got caught by the cops taking pictures with his cell phone of naked women at a tanning salon.  When our good friend Jeffy denied having said cell phone cops did a... uh hem... special search.  Obviously, things didn't turn out so great for our friend.   So the question that comes to mind is, which lube is it that doesn't destroy your cell phone?  Would you use oil based or water based?  

Butt Plug Ringer

For a bit of serious turn... let's look to Don Imus.  This.. is definitely not a joking matter.  Here's what I think about him and his situation now and previous.  If you don't like it, don't listen to it.  It's that simple.  Actually, it upsets me slightly because the people who are complaining about this have the choice to turn it off.  However, when I'm on the subway and some punk kid decides to blare rap from his cell phone, or has his headphones on but forgets to use his inside voice when singing to himself, or even when a bunch of high schoolers get on the train and says F*** this and N****R that...I have no choice.  And guess what?  It's insulting and degrading.   But what do I do?  I bite my tongue and deal with it... because that's life kids!  So maybe you should do the same.  He's old... and I honestly think he meant well.  Is he racist?  Yes.  But that's his problem not yours.  You should never let other people effect your day... and that's all I gotta say about that!  

R.I.P George Carlin! 

  

Fee-reakingdiculous!

Remember when we were kids and we'd get really excited about going on a flight?  You get on the plane and were greeted with the nice big fluffy pillow (bear in mind our heads were smaller back then), a soft blanket, a full meal where you went straight for the desert, great service, and those wings pins at the end of the flight?  

What happened to those days?  

What happened to courteous flight attendants?  

Where did all the blankets and pillows go?  And the food!  Where is the food!?  

Has everything been sent to some happy island somewhere?  

About two weeks ago I helped book a flight for a friend of mine to come to New York.  I found this great rate!  Seriously, it was 50 dollars LESS than everyone else.  Actually, I was really excited about it!  

Until...

Ok, this is what happens.  I find this flight with this amazing price and I'm stoked!  Buy the flight and the price stays the same... totally in a great saving money mood!  There's the button to pick seats... hell yes I'm getting a window seat... and then... what?  What's this?  10 DOLLARS to PICK my SEAT!?!?!  You can't be serious?  Ok, ok, it's only 10 bucks.  So I still save 40 bucks.  Alright, time to check out.   Am I checking luggage?  Of course, luggage will be absolutely be checked.  Hold on.  No freaking way.  10 DOLLARS per BAG!?!?!  WTF!  

THAT was my experience in getting this flight.  If you don't check your bag online, it's 20 bucks at the airport.  How many people really know that?  What is going on!  Oh, and food and drinks on this flight... 5 freaking bucks for a soda and a tiny bag of peanuts that should've been free!  A soda, where you don't even get the full can.  Only what fits into that little cup they give you.  Pretty soon they'll be charging for toilet paper!  Here... here's 5 dollars so I can wipe my ass!  

I realize that this is all Mr. Bush's fault.  (for those of you who don't know... that's the President)  As a side note, one of the reasons I love living in New York... NONE of the news anchors refer to him as "President Bush"... he's Mr. Bush here.  It's too bad they don't call him a few other names I could think of at this moment that would be totally inappropriate considering my parents read this.  (Hi mom & dad!) :-)  

I read an article that claims that this is the airlines way of testing whether or not people will take advantage of the services that the airline offers like food and water and toilet.  This is mind boggling to me because if I'm flying from New York to Miami, a three hour flight, you'd better believe I'm going to want something to drink... at the very least.  

It's obvious that this is all due to the high cost of gas.  To me though, it would be much better if the prices of the flights were raised and all those other fees were taken away.  That way, we know exactly what we're getting into, food, drink, pillows, blankets and all.  

As for the pins?  Well, at this point they're probably considered weapons of mass destruction.  I mean don't you know how much damage a wing pin could do to the human body?  A lot of damage my friend... a lot!  

My Happy Place.

Even now, as I sit here almost one week since the Tony Awards were on and watch the video of Gypsy posted on my previous post, I am overwhelmed with inspiration.  That, and goose bumps.  I can't watch that video without a case of those!  

Watching the Tony's, going to see a show, or even listening to a Broadway album put me in the same state of mind that I'm in when I perform.  It's that place where the sky is the limit, and for once your brain has shut up.  If you're like me, which most performers are (I think), there is a constant record of "crap, what are the words" or "OMG this is awful" flowing through your head.  However, when I'm doing it right, when I'm truly living in the moment, within the circumstance of the song or scene, and in the world of the play, silence takes over... and it's absolute bliss!  While each Tony performance was on, and a few of the speeches (the really emotional ones), I was at peace in "my place".  The feeling is indescribable.  The only thing I know about it, is that I want more.  

It's funny what happens as you get older and go through different phases of your life.  When I got my bachelors degree, I'm positive that this "place" was something that I only experienced once.  Sad, right?  It was for a show called Pippin and I played the character named Catherine.  Through her, I had my first experience with what happens when you find this person you're trying to portray.  I'm not saying that I was in this place each performance.  I know for a fact I wasn't.  Looking at it all now, the only thing that my Bachelors degree was good for was friendship and quite a few life lessons.  Now that I'm at NYU, the difference in my approach to performing has changed drastically and I'm so grateful for that!  

Last Tuesday, I got to see Christine Ebersol perform at the Barnes & Noble at Lincoln Center.  The thing I love about this city is that it offers experiences like this to the people who live here... and it's free!  It was only for a half hour, but for that period of time, I was of course in my place.  She was incredible!  Her voice is impeccable.  And her acting?  What a wonderful display of talent!  Watching her get prepared for each song was amazing... definitely something to learn from there!  

Below is her Tony performance of Grey Gardens, the show that earned her the Tony for Best Actress last year.  Musically, her voice is much prettier than what's portrayed here, however I couldn't resist putting this song up because I have a friend whose day I know this will make!  

...Da da da DA dum....

There are no words...!

... more to come!  :-)  

Impossible or Plausible?

Do to a recent encounter in my life, I've been compelled to blog about the age old, overused, underestimated question regarding whether or not women and men can just be friends.  Now I acknowledge that every single aspect of this conundrum has already been covered and there's nothing I could possibly ad.  Believe me!  After doing research about other peoples opinions last night, I've learned that there are countless articles that have tackled this unanswerable query.  So why have I decided to write about it, you ask? 

Well!  I'll tell you why...

I'm a myspacer.  And occasionally I'll get a random email from an eager guy just "dying to get to know me more".  Which of course, I know is code for "I WANT TO BONE YOU NOW". However, some e-mails are actually... not that obvious.  Anywho... this guy... who...Oh my God I have to tell you his real name was one of those names that is slightly unbelievable and bizarre. You know, like Apple, or Jessica Alba's new daughter "Honor" (seriously, Jessica...I thought you were normal!).  I won't say his name because I'm just not that mean.  Maybe someday...not now though.  

Oh God I'm digressing...I'm sorry!  Back at it.  

After a series of e-mails this guy...who for now we'll just call... "Powder".  Powder asks me to go out for drinks.  I'm a little suspicious, and really I'm the type of gal who just likes to lay all the cards out on the table.  So I answer: sure we can meet.  No problem.  But I want you to know that I'm not really in any position to date anyone and if we can meet under the context that it's just a friends thing, then great!  

That's reasonable right?  I'm letting him know I'm not the love of his life and he's not going to get laid.  I also informed him that if he didn't want to meet knowing that information it was OK. I would have no hard feelings and we could go on with our lives with out meeting.  Again, rational... right?  

Now our friend Powder... who obviously had the best intentions in mind with me responds almost immediately saying "Is it me, or do ALL girls have to complicate things?"  Ok... well he's right there.  We do complicate things a bit... or allot depending on the time of month. 

He continues by saying "I was just asking you for drinks!?  Good luck with yourself and your issues!  See you on CBS this summer"  Oh that's a little nugget I forgot.  He's gonna be on TV this summer for some singing show.  Which is funny because I know I can sing him under a table.  

I hardly think that my e-mail to him merited the response he gave me.   So I decided to respond: "Well... I'm sorry you feel that way.  I was just trying to be honest with you about where I am... no more no less.  I make a pretty kick ass friend... but C'est la vie, right?

Break a leg on the show... I'm sure you'll be awesome.  :-)  

Best,

Cristina

ps- everybody has issues... yourself included.  Something to think about the next time a nice girl gets "complicated" on you. "

My mother always taught me to kill people with kindness... 

And he responds (which is getting to my point about why I'm writing this)  "FYI Guys and Girls CAN NOT be friends!  As much as most pretend, it just doesn't work."

So dear readers, this is where it began.  Long story huh?  Needless to say, I was pissed.  Only because he was a dick head and I didn't think I deserved it.  But, at least I know now where his intentions really were.  Too bad he sucks at dealing with rejection.  

My opinion?  Yes, it is absolutely possible for men and women to be friends.  However, it's not easy.  The most important aspect to having a healthy man/woman relationship is for both of you to be on the same page.  Meaning, you both need to understand that nothing will happen between you.  Both of your intentions need to stay platonic.  If the guy is only hanging out with the girl in hopes that she'll someday get drunk or hopelessly depressed and sleep with him it won't work... and of course vice versa.  Yet, it is obviously more complicated than just that. Which is why I am posing this question to you!  What do you think?  Is it possible?  Will there always be some sort of sexual connotation within the relationship or can it be strictly platonic?  

Is it impossible... or plausible?  

Indeed, I doo!

So, for those of you who don't know me, I'm currently job hunting. Looking for a job in New York City is the exact equivalent to finding love in New York City... close to impossible.  Not to say that finding love here would be impossible. Doubtless there are a rare few who have.   But let's face it.  The majority of the men here who take your breath away are either gay, married, or straight and totally arrogant which if ya didn't know boys... is a complete turn off!  But...I'm digressing...

I spend countless hours online during the day looking for possible employment, writing cover letters to match the job descriptions and companies, and sending them my resume.  It's a real picker upper in my life!  Needless to say, a girl needs a break from all that self-deprecation.  So I do a little web-surfing. 

Now, I'm no spring chicken.  Understandably, there are people in this world who have their obsessions.  Some people are fixated with reality TV, others are preoccupied with sports, and some are object enthusiasts for example...watches (uh-hem).  

But... really...?  

Obsession

Please don't think I'm passing judgement on this little nugget I encountered.  Actually, I find it very amusing and will probably visit the site often.  In fact, in honor of my discovery (and for all my musical theatre loving friends), I've added a video as a tribute to the creators of the site. 

Thanks for promoting the topic that binds all beings together!  

The Puppy Channel!

And why not?  In a world where violent acts consume our nightly news, it ceases to amaze me that this concept didn't succeed!  Wouldn't you rather watch puppies during your commercial breaks than some random gossip channel hounding celebrities or a re-run of a show you've seen 1000 times?  I know most people would say "no"...but personally...I answer with a resounding "yes!"  

They're Puppies!  

Cute, snugly, lovable, adorable, any word ending in "able"... puppies!   

I think the World would be a better place if this were a channel that were still on.  Honestly. 

Puppies, make people smile.  Smiling creates happy endorphins and happy endorphins means people won't turn into psycho crazy stalker killers.  That, and exercise.  Hmm...maybe this would help with gun control too...

Wikipedia link for puppy channel

...And a puppy video...just for fun. 

For those of you like myself who are disappointed about the loss of this quality boob tube option, never fear!  During the Super Bowl the Animal Planet has three hours of a Puppy Bowl!  Nothing but puppies for three hours with one break during half time for what?  That's right!  You guessed it!  A super kitten half-time show.  Genius!  

Brokeback Mountain...the opera?

Yes, my friends.  Tis, true!  And of course, no other venue would be appropriate for such a venture as our very own New York City Opera!  

Speechless, does not suffice...

Although, to be honest with you, I do think the story merits the drama and tragedy that most operas thrive off of.  However, I wonder what will happen to those controversial sex scenes?  That, and I hardly think it's fair for the horses to be waiting in the wings for their moment on stage.  Will they get paid as ensemble members or featured actors?  

Click here for article

This is all reminding me of a very funny conversation I had with some friends.  Someone slipped and instead of saying brokeback mountain they said bareback mountain.  Me...being the girl I am responded in my best movie trailer voice replied "Bareback mountain---what happens when there's no lube".  

Gotta Love Her!

Those of you who know me, know that musical theatre runs in my veins. I love it! There are certain performers amongst us in this world whose talent exceeds our expectations. Some we all can collectively agree upon the fact that we just love them. I don't know anyone who doesn't love Julie Andrews, Audra McDonald, or the greatness of Ethel Merman.

However, there are performers who are tremendously talented yet are more of an...acquired taste.

I recently had a conversation with a director whose opinion I highly value. He mentioned to me that he loves the show Gypsy but hates Patti LuPone. I'm sure it doesn't help that he saw Gypsy years ago when Tyne Daly had her Tony winning performance as Mama Rose. Who would want to see it again after that? My point is, Patti is definitely one of those performers who you either love, or hate. Personally, I love her...no matter how much of a bitch people claim her to be.

Last semester I was working on a piece from West Side Story with a wonderful actress from my program. During the process I did some research on our particular song...and came across this little nugget of fun.

Turn up your volume kiddies...and enjoy. :-)

A Proper Introduction

After a failed blogger identity attempt earlier this week, I think I've finally decided the type of blogger I want to be...

Drum roll please...

Me. I just want to be me. Not a version of me. Not something I wish I was like maybe a hardcore Buddhist, or someone I wish I was...although...wait...I take that back. I'm pretty sure I'd like to be Jennifer Anniston right now...underneath..NO...on top of John Mayer screaming about how his body IS a wonderland.

I'm digressing...

This blog is about me. My thoughts. My feelings (watch out boys it might actually get sentimental), and perhaps some craziness as well.

I was thinking about what type of inaugural blog I would put up. What topic I would choose to divulge to the public the type of girl they can expect me to be. The only thing I could deem appropriate enough was a blog that I posted on Myspace about four months ago or so. I'd say it's a wonderful representation of the "craziness" aspect of what you'll find here. So...here it is. I hope you enjoy it...and come back for more!

Thanks for stopping by....world.

Cristina

Is Bigger Really Better? ---blog from Myspace

In a country that prides itself on the size of its trucks, value meals, super markets, and let's face it folks...people, it doesn't take a person much to begin to think if bigger really is better. Every thing is super sized! Does that mean that our men must be as well? That's right...I'm talking about penis', people! Dicks, cocks, roosters, dongs, weeners, johnsons (sadly my brother's called me "Johnson" growing up)...and my personal favorite, trouser snakes...whatever you want to call it...does its size really matter? Every day I get a slew of spam e-mail about how to enlarge those special organs that we love so much. Everything from pumps to pills to make your little man a better man. But cmon...how small can it get?

http://www.chrudat.com/hs_small_penis.html

After recently viewing the link that I've attached to this blog I stand corrected about the phrase "bigger is better". And to be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure how I would react if ever face to face with what can only be described as a natural disaster. So my question to you, dear readers, is how would you react if ever in the presence of such...smallness? Would you break up with them? Would you give them a chance? What if you couldn't even feel it? A friend of mine asked me what I personally would do and I'm just...not sure. I hope that's not horribly insensitive...but sadly...it's the truth. What do you think?