Friday, July 4, 2008

Love Your Monkey

First and foremost, my humblest apologies for not blogging sooner.  I actually got a job.  OK... not really.  I got 3 jobs!  Amazing right?  I would go into what I'm doing for a living these days... but it would take too long to describe.  Suffice to say I'm a happy chicklette right now.  

So I've been holding on to this story for a bit only because I needed some time to digest it.  I knew however, that I needed to share it with you all.  Since I have no life, I was home during the week and found myself watching this bizarre Primetime program on stories of the absurd.  This particular little nugget was about people who adopt monkeys and treat them as babies.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love me some monkeys!  Honestly.  I'm like a man when I see a monkey on TV in the way that I get so tranfixed that only the monkey and I exist in the world and nothing could distract me from my "monkey and me moment".  However, treating these amazing little finger sniffing animals like babies was way to bizarre for me.  

One of the couples were people whose children had grown up and moved out.  They missed the pitter patter of little feet but didn't want to try and survive those teenage years again.  And who could blame them for that... I was a total bitch as a teenager.  Hence why they didn't adopt a real baby like normal people.  So they got a monkey.  Their day consists of bathing, feeding, and changing her dirty diapers and clothes.  Yes, they put her in human clothing.  At the very least you could get a puppy and dress it up... but wait... that's right... puppies get old and become dependent.  This monkey sleeps in the bed with them at night as well.  

By the way, in order to keep her and to make sure that she doesn't hurt them, they took out her teeth.  How inhumane is that?!  

Alright... so I spent a few days thinking about this right?  And I've come to the conclusion that the only reason possible for an older couple to want to spend the rest of their life cleaning up after another fully dependent "child" for its life is because they are terrified of facing each other and their marriage.  They want the distraction.  They've been dealing with their children for so long that they don't know how to deal with each other... or have sex for that matter.  Because there's no way they're gonna have sex in front of their "baby" that shares the bed with them!  The only thing they think they have in common is raising children.  Which isn't true because why would you get married in the first place?

Yes... people change.  I get that.  But I think when you become an empty nester it's the perfect time for you to have fun and explore your marriage.  Get to know your partner... even if it's all over again.  There has to be some fun in that!  I guess I just don't understand why two people who are FINALLY alone with each other would want to avoid this amazing time in your life and corrupt it with cleaning up poopy diapers again... from a MONKEY!  

Obviously, I'm of the opinion that adopting a monkey as a surrogate child is wrong.  They're way more complex than dogs or cats and should just be left in the wild where they belong.  However, maybe you'll change your mind once you read the article I've attached.  I'd be interested to hear others opinions about this one.  Although, I can't fathom there being a good argument for this crazy monkey business.  

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