Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Impossible or Plausible?

Do to a recent encounter in my life, I've been compelled to blog about the age old, overused, underestimated question regarding whether or not women and men can just be friends.  Now I acknowledge that every single aspect of this conundrum has already been covered and there's nothing I could possibly ad.  Believe me!  After doing research about other peoples opinions last night, I've learned that there are countless articles that have tackled this unanswerable query.  So why have I decided to write about it, you ask? 

Well!  I'll tell you why...

I'm a myspacer.  And occasionally I'll get a random email from an eager guy just "dying to get to know me more".  Which of course, I know is code for "I WANT TO BONE YOU NOW". However, some e-mails are actually... not that obvious.  Anywho... this guy... who...Oh my God I have to tell you his real name was one of those names that is slightly unbelievable and bizarre. You know, like Apple, or Jessica Alba's new daughter "Honor" (seriously, Jessica...I thought you were normal!).  I won't say his name because I'm just not that mean.  Maybe someday...not now though.  

Oh God I'm digressing...I'm sorry!  Back at it.  

After a series of e-mails this guy...who for now we'll just call... "Powder".  Powder asks me to go out for drinks.  I'm a little suspicious, and really I'm the type of gal who just likes to lay all the cards out on the table.  So I answer: sure we can meet.  No problem.  But I want you to know that I'm not really in any position to date anyone and if we can meet under the context that it's just a friends thing, then great!  

That's reasonable right?  I'm letting him know I'm not the love of his life and he's not going to get laid.  I also informed him that if he didn't want to meet knowing that information it was OK. I would have no hard feelings and we could go on with our lives with out meeting.  Again, rational... right?  

Now our friend Powder... who obviously had the best intentions in mind with me responds almost immediately saying "Is it me, or do ALL girls have to complicate things?"  Ok... well he's right there.  We do complicate things a bit... or allot depending on the time of month. 
He continues by saying "I was just asking you for drinks!?  Good luck with yourself and your issues!  See you on CBS this summer"  Oh that's a little nugget I forgot.  He's gonna be on TV this summer for some singing show.  Which is funny because I know I can sing him under a table.  

I hardly think that my e-mail to him merited the response he gave me.   So I decided to respond: "Well... I'm sorry you feel that way.  I was just trying to be honest with you about where I am... no more no less.  I make a pretty kick ass friend... but C'est la vie, right?
Break a leg on the show... I'm sure you'll be awesome.  :-)  
ps- everybody has issues... yourself included.  Something to think about the next time a nice girl gets "complicated" on you. "

My mother always taught me to kill people with kindness... 

And he responds (which is getting to my point about why I'm writing this)  "FYI Guys and Girls CAN NOT be friends!  As much as most pretend, it just doesn't work."

So dear readers, this is where it began.  Long story huh?  Needless to say, I was pissed.  Only because he was a dick head and I didn't think I deserved it.  But, at least I know now where his intentions really were.  Too bad he sucks at dealing with rejection.  

My opinion?  Yes, it is absolutely possible for men and women to be friends.  However, it's not easy.  The most important aspect to having a healthy man/woman relationship is for both of you to be on the same page.  Meaning, you both need to understand that nothing will happen between you.  Both of your intentions need to stay platonic.  If the guy is only hanging out with the girl in hopes that she'll someday get drunk or hopelessly depressed and sleep with him it won't work... and of course vice versa.  Yet, it is obviously more complicated than just that. Which is why I am posing this question to you!  What do you think?  Is it possible?  Will there always be some sort of sexual connotation within the relationship or can it be strictly platonic?  

Is it impossible... or plausible?  


Justteeners said...

sorry girl- guys and girls can only be just friends on a very rare occassion. I'm lucky to have one guy friend who is just that...but for the most part- hes right!!
...though he did overreact.

Mike said...

Sounds like Snowball needs to cool out.

It is possible. The best example I can give you is of my friend Letty, the one who passed away recently. When we started hanging out together a lot, it would be safe to say that we each may have had some kind of romantic interest (well, at least I did). And, despite that interest at the inception, the spark was just never there. We even joked around about it since we had such a great time hanging out together. She knew at the outset that my interest was more than platonic. But, when it did not coalesce into a romance, it was still a great friendship. We were always on the same page which is what made it possible.

unlatinlatinaluvr143 said...

hahaha - I could write a novel just responding to each part of this specific blog Ambrose...If I had time, it would take me a week to figure out where to start!