New York is one of the most amazing places to spend a day walking and simply taking in the city. It's one of my favorite things to do. My second favorite thing to do? Walk around the city while taking in a new album. It's inexplainable really why this is such a relaxing thing for me but when you're listening to new music and each song makes you that much happier that you bought the album... there's nothing like it! What's the album you ask? This time it was Adele's "21". Seriously... go buy it... you won't regret it! No sophomore mess-ups here. Each song is packed with her signature sounds and killer style! Trust me kids... if there's one album you need to buy this year... it's this one.
Class dismissed.
~H-less
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Current Obsession
I haven't done this in a long time... but I'm compelled to share. I'm currently in love with this artist. Yes... I realize I'm a few years behind but I haven't been able to stop listening to her first album. This is just one of the songs that I think is really pretty! :-)
Enjoy!
~H-less
Enjoy!
~H-less
Friday, February 4, 2011
The end of an era
Though it's been quite a long time since I've written a blog... it is not without good cause. In between a recital, the holidays, and finding and moving to a new apartment I've been a touch busy. Not to mention starting a new job! The beginning of the year has provided me with many blessings. I'm happy to say that I'm working with the little ones again... but this time the really REALLY little ones. I'm teaching K-5th graders. It's an amazing age to work with and to be honest the K-2nd graders make me feel like I'm playing with my niece and nephews. :-)
This blog, however, is called "the end of an era" and the reason for that is this. Since moving to New York I have been a true Manhattanite. Living in and going out in Manhattan is what made me happy and for years I swore I would never move to any of those "other" boroughs. It astounds me to say this, but I have left Manhattan for another. It's quite weird. I some how feel that I'm cheating on the city that got me through the past 4 and a half years but they say that all good things come to an end.
Proudly, I'm now calling myself an Astorian! I've been here less than a week and I'm in LOVE with it! On moving day I had 5 neighbors come up and introduce themselves to me. The neighborhood is adorable and full of things to do and every single type of store I could want. Not to mention I'm a stones throw away from Steinway street, Little Cairo and 30th Avenue, which has many great places to hang out at. I'm surrounded mostly by Greeks and Italians and we have some of the best restaurants NY has to offer. The way I see it... I've traded up! My new place is in a pre-war building and the best way I can describe it is "charming". And if I ever get a hankering for Manhattan... all I have to do is jump on the subway and I'll be there in a very short 15 minute ride. :-) Needless to say, I'm a happy camper!
Life has been very good to me and it will only get better from here!
~H-less
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Random Acts of Kindness
So... recently I've been thinking of starting this new thing. I've been noticing a lot lately random acts of kindness people are doing for each other. Inspired by that, I began trying to do at least one a day. For example, a few weeks ago I saw a Fed Ex guy struggling to open the door of the place he was gong to deliver because he had boxes in his hand. So I opened it for him. Or helping a woman carry a stroller up the stairs from the subway. A week ago I bought a bag of dunken donuts coffee for myself to brew at home. When you buy it, at least here in NY, they give you a free medium coffee. Well I didn't want mine... so I offered it to the women in front of me. Now don't get me wrong... I'm not saying all this to boast about myself. They're just examples of unexpected gifts that we can give to each other.
I feel like we all need to help each other out more. The simplest gesture can brighten someone's day. Even simply smiling at someone can make them feel good. So having said that, I'd like to encourage all of you to participate with me. Do something for someone else. Go out of your way to help a stranger or a friend without expecting anything in return. See how it makes you feel and then start to observe what people are doing to randomly help you out. All of you in Florida, maybe it's that driver who let's you pull out in front of them (I know you know that this is definitely a random act in South Florida driving). Start to observe how many people help you and how that increases as you help them. Remember that you get back what you give out and this is the best way to give out that I can think of.
So this is Random Acts of Kindness... I'd love to hear your stories about how this works out for you and please feel free to share what you did and what was done for you.
Class dismissed.
~H-less
Thursday, November 11, 2010
50 years!
So it's been quite a while since I've posted a new blog. However, it's taken me some time to mull this story over in my head.
50 years! That's how long it's been since my mother graduated high school and a few weeks ago, I had to honor of accompanying her to the big reunion. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure what I was getting myself into however, within the first few minutes I knew it would be an interesting night.
Here are the highlights from my evening:
1. Having many "uh hem" older gentlemen come up to me and say "Hey! You look great! You haven't changed at all!" only for me to respond "Thank you very much. I have an outstanding plastic surgeon!"
2. Making friends with another non-high school attendee who practically fell asleep at the table until I got up to get him coffee. Five minutes later he invites me to visit he and his wife the next time I go to Florida so they can take me out on their boat in the Keys (woo hoo!).
3. Reading in the book where everyone said what they've been up to the past 50 years. A particular man said he was looking for available daughters for his sons. I grabbed the book, brought my mom and went to his table and said "I'm looking for John Garbowski... I'm an available daughter" Following this statement a dowry was discussed between he and my mother. (For the record, this guy made my night)
4. Watching them all dance. It was a fascinating glimpse into the future of dance for my life and it wasn't as bleak as I thought it would be.
5. Realizing the difference between when someone my age wins a prize at an event like this and someone their age wins a prize. The speed it takes to get to where the prize is... significantly slower. The enthusiasm for winning said prize... still very present.
6. Seeing how amazing my mom looked compared to other women her age. No offense to anyone there... but mom looked the youngest.
7. Getting a peak into my moms young life although becoming slightly annoyed each time they called her "Patty".
After the party we talked a lot about moms high school years, her experiences and how it effected her adult life. One of the stories she told me I feel holds some major significance in the way that I believe children and teenagers need to start behaving.
In every school you always have those who stand out. Either they're incredibly shy or just different then everyone else. This inevitably creates a sense of isolation for that person, something I know about all too well. Talking about this with mom I learned that there were two such individuals in her class. Here's the difference though. Instead of those kids being bullied, teased, put down and left out, mom's entire class nominated these two King and Queen of one of their dances. They came together to help their fellow classmates feel accepted and cared about rather than binding together to shun them. Think about this. What if we did this now? 50 years later and everyone is so competitive. 50 years later and no one looks out for each other any more. 50 years later and those individuals who are "different" are being bullied and if they don't kill themselves physically certainly their spirit is in some way damaged.
I think a great lesson can be learned in this. A lesson of compassion, a lesson of acceptance and a lesson of love. This is not any different than anything I've preached before. We need to look out for each other and the class of 1960 exemplifies exactly how to do that.
So my hat is off to you all! Thank you for a wonderful evening and an incredible learning experience!
Class dismissed.
~H-less
PS-For those of you who know about orbs... take a close look at that last picture.
50 years! That's how long it's been since my mother graduated high school and a few weeks ago, I had to honor of accompanying her to the big reunion. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure what I was getting myself into however, within the first few minutes I knew it would be an interesting night.
Here are the highlights from my evening:
1. Having many "uh hem" older gentlemen come up to me and say "Hey! You look great! You haven't changed at all!" only for me to respond "Thank you very much. I have an outstanding plastic surgeon!"
2. Making friends with another non-high school attendee who practically fell asleep at the table until I got up to get him coffee. Five minutes later he invites me to visit he and his wife the next time I go to Florida so they can take me out on their boat in the Keys (woo hoo!).
3. Reading in the book where everyone said what they've been up to the past 50 years. A particular man said he was looking for available daughters for his sons. I grabbed the book, brought my mom and went to his table and said "I'm looking for John Garbowski... I'm an available daughter" Following this statement a dowry was discussed between he and my mother. (For the record, this guy made my night)
4. Watching them all dance. It was a fascinating glimpse into the future of dance for my life and it wasn't as bleak as I thought it would be.
5. Realizing the difference between when someone my age wins a prize at an event like this and someone their age wins a prize. The speed it takes to get to where the prize is... significantly slower. The enthusiasm for winning said prize... still very present.
6. Seeing how amazing my mom looked compared to other women her age. No offense to anyone there... but mom looked the youngest.
7. Getting a peak into my moms young life although becoming slightly annoyed each time they called her "Patty".
After the party we talked a lot about moms high school years, her experiences and how it effected her adult life. One of the stories she told me I feel holds some major significance in the way that I believe children and teenagers need to start behaving.
In every school you always have those who stand out. Either they're incredibly shy or just different then everyone else. This inevitably creates a sense of isolation for that person, something I know about all too well. Talking about this with mom I learned that there were two such individuals in her class. Here's the difference though. Instead of those kids being bullied, teased, put down and left out, mom's entire class nominated these two King and Queen of one of their dances. They came together to help their fellow classmates feel accepted and cared about rather than binding together to shun them. Think about this. What if we did this now? 50 years later and everyone is so competitive. 50 years later and no one looks out for each other any more. 50 years later and those individuals who are "different" are being bullied and if they don't kill themselves physically certainly their spirit is in some way damaged.
I think a great lesson can be learned in this. A lesson of compassion, a lesson of acceptance and a lesson of love. This is not any different than anything I've preached before. We need to look out for each other and the class of 1960 exemplifies exactly how to do that.
So my hat is off to you all! Thank you for a wonderful evening and an incredible learning experience!
Class dismissed.
~H-less
PS-For those of you who know about orbs... take a close look at that last picture.
Monday, October 18, 2010
"I'm Gay"
Okay... not really. But here's the thing. Recently, I re-watched the Kevin Kline movie "In & Out". For those of you who don't know, it's a film about a man who is set to be married and the weekend before the wedding he realizes that he's gay. He comes out at his wedding. His wife-to-be is furious, his parents look confused and hurt and everyone seems like they're in shock. Along with that, he gets fired from his teaching job, something he obviously loves doing. There's a scene in this film where the school explains that he was fired because he came out and the community doesn't want a gay teacher. Then... the most amazing part of the film... everyone in the room, one at a time, start to stand up and say "I'm gay" including his parents. The acceptance and love that the entire community showed for him was incredibly touching... loving him for who he is not what he is.
In all honesty... it made me wonder. Why can't we all just stand up for our gay friends instead of treating them like they're so different? Why do we have to look at anyone who is different in any way and not accept them? Why is there this idea of what's normal or perfect that we're all supposed to live up to? That's too much pressure for any one of us to put on ourselves. So why do it? Why can't we all just look at each other and see the human being, the soul, the spirit that each of us has? To no longer see race, class, disability or sexual preference but to see the person who is inside. Why can't we just do that? What the hell is everyone so fearful of?
Easier said than done...I get that. But if standing up for my gay friends means that I have to say I'm gay even though I'm not.. then so be it. If that's the way to get ignorant people to open their eyes and stop trying to change someone because they don't agree with their lifestyle then so be it. And if that's the way to spread a message of loving each other as human beings then that's right... you guessed it.. so be it.
I've attached a video below about gay marriage that I recently put on my facebook account. It's pretty vulgar so beware... but the message is good. I'm tired of people saying what's right for another person when they don't understand what that person may be going through. I'm sick of hearing what people believe is right by God... ALL humans are loved and accepted by God... no matter what they represent.
To all my gay friends... this ones for you. Thanks for staying true to who you are and not being ashamed of it!
Class dismiss.
~H-less
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TMTrpugT0E&has_verified=1
In all honesty... it made me wonder. Why can't we all just stand up for our gay friends instead of treating them like they're so different? Why do we have to look at anyone who is different in any way and not accept them? Why is there this idea of what's normal or perfect that we're all supposed to live up to? That's too much pressure for any one of us to put on ourselves. So why do it? Why can't we all just look at each other and see the human being, the soul, the spirit that each of us has? To no longer see race, class, disability or sexual preference but to see the person who is inside. Why can't we just do that? What the hell is everyone so fearful of?
Easier said than done...I get that. But if standing up for my gay friends means that I have to say I'm gay even though I'm not.. then so be it. If that's the way to get ignorant people to open their eyes and stop trying to change someone because they don't agree with their lifestyle then so be it. And if that's the way to spread a message of loving each other as human beings then that's right... you guessed it.. so be it.
I've attached a video below about gay marriage that I recently put on my facebook account. It's pretty vulgar so beware... but the message is good. I'm tired of people saying what's right for another person when they don't understand what that person may be going through. I'm sick of hearing what people believe is right by God... ALL humans are loved and accepted by God... no matter what they represent.
To all my gay friends... this ones for you. Thanks for staying true to who you are and not being ashamed of it!
Class dismiss.
~H-less
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TMTrpugT0E&has_verified=1
Monday, October 4, 2010
One comment... one moment
Picture this. 5th grade classroom... it's the last period in school for the day and you're stuck in math. ugh... math! Everyone is energetically waiting for the bell to ring including your friend who sits next to you sporting a pair of new eye glasses. He'd never worn eye glasses before so of course all day people have been making comments to him about it. Some out of malice and others for "fun". The teacher says something that we happened to miss because we simply weren't paying attention and this young man who for the moment didn't have his glasses on asks the children around him "what'd he say?". Without thinking I said "maybe you should put your glasses on so you can hear him".
Now I need to point something out. In my defense, this is something that my dad would say to my mom in order to pick on her. Though there is no excuse for my words to him, I should say that she never seemed very upset by it... so I think I figured that it wouldn't hurt his feelings. I was very wrong. The look on his face and the way his entire body just seemed to deplete of any positive energy he had was heartbreaking and it's a moment in my life I wish I could take back.
You may think that I should just get over it. But in all honesty, this is not something I can just get over. The truth is that from grade 4 and all through high school I was the victim of bullying. To know that I may have hurt someone in the same way I was hurt, even if it was one comment... one moment... it's enough to break my heart and wish it hadn't happened.
My bullying was... rough. That's probably an understatement. It got to the point where I would fake being sick in order to not go to school. I actually learned how to manipulate the thermometer to where it would show that I was just under the normal 98.6 degrees. This would make my mom feel that whatever I had was viral and she would allow me to stay home (sorry, Mom). Anything I could do to avoid being called ugly, stupid, a monster... or to have things thrown at me, to be spit at, to be called every name... basically to have ever action I did get judged in such a harsh manner by kids who were the same age as me... the same level of education... from the same areas of town and who knew the same people. All of these "sames" and we were so different. No matter how hard I tried I could never fit in. As a result, I learned to live alone... with in myself. This meant that all during high school when most of the really bad bullying had ceased... I was misunderstood because I was so quiet... and because I was so quiet I was picked on once again. Popularity definitely wasn't my thing in school and it wasn't until college that I was able to slowly come out of my shell. Even now though... retreating to that place I lived for so long alone is my defense mechanism and in times of stress, anger, sadness or loneliness... it's what provides me comfort simply because it's where I lived for so long.
It should come as no surprise that I write this on the brink of our 5th teen suicide since September over bullying, the last one being Tyler Clementi from Rutgers University. It might surprise some to learn that suicide was an option that I critically considered. I'm very glad I didn't. I would've missed out on so much! I would've missed out on falling in love, seeing my brothers get married and make beautiful babies, going to grad-school (twice), having amazing friends... and being there for my mom when she's needed me most. What every one is saying is all true. People change. It won't always be bad and you're life will absolutely get better as has mine and one day you'll even learn to love yourself which as someone whose been bullied can tell you... it's an uphill battle.
Words are significant. Take the time to think before you speak, plan before you act, and live every moment in love. It's with love that we overcome hardships and love can save those children who are being bullied and prevent these all too soon deaths. It only takes one person to care to make a difference.
Please watch these if you haven't seen them yet. The first is Ellen's message and the second is Kathy Griffin's message. Both are important.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br7nbQSIyhg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu2JeZn1Uw0
Class dismissed. Be nice to each other.
~H-less
Now I need to point something out. In my defense, this is something that my dad would say to my mom in order to pick on her. Though there is no excuse for my words to him, I should say that she never seemed very upset by it... so I think I figured that it wouldn't hurt his feelings. I was very wrong. The look on his face and the way his entire body just seemed to deplete of any positive energy he had was heartbreaking and it's a moment in my life I wish I could take back.
You may think that I should just get over it. But in all honesty, this is not something I can just get over. The truth is that from grade 4 and all through high school I was the victim of bullying. To know that I may have hurt someone in the same way I was hurt, even if it was one comment... one moment... it's enough to break my heart and wish it hadn't happened.
My bullying was... rough. That's probably an understatement. It got to the point where I would fake being sick in order to not go to school. I actually learned how to manipulate the thermometer to where it would show that I was just under the normal 98.6 degrees. This would make my mom feel that whatever I had was viral and she would allow me to stay home (sorry, Mom). Anything I could do to avoid being called ugly, stupid, a monster... or to have things thrown at me, to be spit at, to be called every name... basically to have ever action I did get judged in such a harsh manner by kids who were the same age as me... the same level of education... from the same areas of town and who knew the same people. All of these "sames" and we were so different. No matter how hard I tried I could never fit in. As a result, I learned to live alone... with in myself. This meant that all during high school when most of the really bad bullying had ceased... I was misunderstood because I was so quiet... and because I was so quiet I was picked on once again. Popularity definitely wasn't my thing in school and it wasn't until college that I was able to slowly come out of my shell. Even now though... retreating to that place I lived for so long alone is my defense mechanism and in times of stress, anger, sadness or loneliness... it's what provides me comfort simply because it's where I lived for so long.
It should come as no surprise that I write this on the brink of our 5th teen suicide since September over bullying, the last one being Tyler Clementi from Rutgers University. It might surprise some to learn that suicide was an option that I critically considered. I'm very glad I didn't. I would've missed out on so much! I would've missed out on falling in love, seeing my brothers get married and make beautiful babies, going to grad-school (twice), having amazing friends... and being there for my mom when she's needed me most. What every one is saying is all true. People change. It won't always be bad and you're life will absolutely get better as has mine and one day you'll even learn to love yourself which as someone whose been bullied can tell you... it's an uphill battle.
Words are significant. Take the time to think before you speak, plan before you act, and live every moment in love. It's with love that we overcome hardships and love can save those children who are being bullied and prevent these all too soon deaths. It only takes one person to care to make a difference.
Please watch these if you haven't seen them yet. The first is Ellen's message and the second is Kathy Griffin's message. Both are important.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br7nbQSIyhg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu2JeZn1Uw0
Class dismissed. Be nice to each other.
~H-less
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