Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Oh to be brave...

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be brave. How sometimes in the moments that we're brave we don't even realize it's what we're doing. Making the decision to move to NY was probably the bravest thing I've ever done. I uprooted myself from my entire family, my friends, and at the time what was an amazing relationship. That was brave. But there are so many other moments of bravery that fly by like light breezes... here one second and gone the next. Being brave enough to walk past the projects every day for work or even brave enough to give your number to that random guy who made you smile all night... it seems to me that this type of bravery, the bravery that lies in the every day choices that we make is the type that molds, guides, and informs our lives.

Why have I been thinking about bravery, you ask? Good question. I'm not sure. Most likely because I feel that the choices I'm making in my life right now in this very moment will dictate the course of my future. I'm not just talking career but also relationships... being single in NY is not easy and to be honest I feel like the only people who say that are the ones who aren't looking for something serious. Of course it'd be easy if all I wanted was a fling... there's eye candy every where! Alas... that's not what I want... never really has been. Even friendships... it's difficult to figure out who to trust... and trust takes major bravery.

If I were to take a step back from my life right now... I'd look at what was going on and wonder if I'm being brave enough. Am i? Probably not. I'm sure there are choices that I've failed to make or things I've said no to where perhaps I should've just gone for it. It's no good to look at the past though... the things that could've been are long gone and what's left is the road before us... the road that leads hopefully down a path towards success (which is a completely different blog... suffice it to say that success always seems to change as perspective does). No longer do I wish to take the easy road or even the easy way out... but I want to climb like hell to reach the top of the mountain... I want to fight for the things I believe in... the things I've always held dear to my heart; my family, the safety and education of all young people... love. I just hope in the great scheme of things that dad is up there brewing up an amazing concoction of a wonderful future for me...

From this moment on... no more regrets. I'll speak my heart... I'll take big risks... even if I look like a fool doing it which knowing me and my tendency towards sillyness it's an inevitability. I'll be brave. I guess the question now is... will you be brave?

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, “It might have been”."

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