50 years!

So it's been quite a while since I've posted a new blog. However, it's taken me some time to mull this story over in my head.
50 years! That's how long it's been since my mother graduated high school and a few weeks ago, I had to honor of accompanying her to the big reunion. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure what I was getting myself into however, within the first few minutes I knew it would be an interesting night.
Here are the highlights from my evening:
1. Having many "uh hem" older gentlemen come up to me and say "Hey! You look great! You haven't changed at all!" only for me to respond "Thank you very much. I have an outstanding plastic surgeon!"
2. Making friends with another non-high school attendee who practically fell asleep at the table until I got up to get him coffee. Five minutes later he invites me to visit he and his wife the next time I go to Florida so they can take me out on their boat in the Keys (woo hoo!).
3. Reading in the book where everyone said what they've been up to the past 50 years. A particular man said he was looking for available daughters for his sons. I grabbed the book, brought my mom and went to his table and said "I'm looking for John Garbowski... I'm an available daughter" Following this statement a dowry was discussed between he and my mother. (For the record, this guy made my night)
4. Watching them all dance. It was a fascinating glimpse into the future of dance for my life and it wasn't as bleak as I thought it would be.
5. Realizing the difference between when someone my age wins a prize at an event like this and someone their age wins a prize. The speed it takes to get to where the prize is... significantly slower. The enthusiasm for winning said prize... still very present.
6. Seeing how amazing my mom looked compared to other women her age. No offense to anyone there... but mom looked the youngest.
7. Getting a peak into my moms young life although becoming slightly annoyed each time they called her "Patty".

After the party we talked a lot about moms high school years, her experiences and how it effected her adult life. One of the stories she told me I feel holds some major significance in the way that I believe children and teenagers need to start behaving.
In every school you always have those who stand out. Either they're incredibly shy or just different then everyone else. This inevitably creates a sense of isolation for that person, something I know about all too well. Talking about this with mom I learned that there were two such individuals in her class. Here's the difference though. Instead of those kids being bullied, teased, put down and left out, mom's entire class nominated these two King and Queen of one of their dances. They came together to help their fellow classmates feel accepted and cared about rather than binding together to shun them. Think about this. What if we did this now? 50 years later and everyone is so competitive. 50 years later and no one looks out for each other any more. 50 years later and those individuals who are "different" are being bullied and if they don't kill themselves physically certainly their spirit is in some way damaged.
I think a great lesson can be learned in this. A lesson of compassion, a lesson of acceptance and a lesson of love. This is not any different than anything I've preached before. We need to look out for each other and the class of 1960 exemplifies exactly how to do that.
So my hat is off to you all! Thank you for a wonderful evening and an incredible learning experience!




Class dismissed.
~H-less

PS-For those of you who know about orbs... take a close look at that last picture.

"I'm Gay"

Okay... not really. But here's the thing. Recently, I re-watched the Kevin Kline movie "In & Out". For those of you who don't know, it's a film about a man who is set to be married and the weekend before the wedding he realizes that he's gay. He comes out at his wedding. His wife-to-be is furious, his parents look confused and hurt and everyone seems like they're in shock. Along with that, he gets fired from his teaching job, something he obviously loves doing. There's a scene in this film where the school explains that he was fired because he came out and the community doesn't want a gay teacher. Then... the most amazing part of the film... everyone in the room, one at a time, start to stand up and say "I'm gay" including his parents. The acceptance and love that the entire community showed for him was incredibly touching... loving him for who he is not what he is.

In all honesty... it made me wonder. Why can't we all just stand up for our gay friends instead of treating them like they're so different? Why do we have to look at anyone who is different in any way and not accept them? Why is there this idea of what's normal or perfect that we're all supposed to live up to? That's too much pressure for any one of us to put on ourselves. So why do it? Why can't we all just look at each other and see the human being, the soul, the spirit that each of us has? To no longer see race, class, disability or sexual preference but to see the person who is inside. Why can't we just do that? What the hell is everyone so fearful of?

Easier said than done...I get that. But if standing up for my gay friends means that I have to say I'm gay even though I'm not.. then so be it. If that's the way to get ignorant people to open their eyes and stop trying to change someone because they don't agree with their lifestyle then so be it. And if that's the way to spread a message of loving each other as human beings then that's right... you guessed it.. so be it.

I've attached a video below about gay marriage that I recently put on my facebook account. It's pretty vulgar so beware... but the message is good. I'm tired of people saying what's right for another person when they don't understand what that person may be going through. I'm sick of hearing what people believe is right by God... ALL humans are loved and accepted by God... no matter what they represent.

To all my gay friends... this ones for you. Thanks for staying true to who you are and not being ashamed of it!

Class dismiss.
~H-less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TMTrpugT0E&has_verified=1

One comment... one moment

Picture this. 5th grade classroom... it's the last period in school for the day and you're stuck in math. ugh... math! Everyone is energetically waiting for the bell to ring including your friend who sits next to you sporting a pair of new eye glasses. He'd never worn eye glasses before so of course all day people have been making comments to him about it. Some out of malice and others for "fun". The teacher says something that we happened to miss because we simply weren't paying attention and this young man who for the moment didn't have his glasses on asks the children around him "what'd he say?". Without thinking I said "maybe you should put your glasses on so you can hear him".

Now I need to point something out. In my defense, this is something that my dad would say to my mom in order to pick on her. Though there is no excuse for my words to him, I should say that she never seemed very upset by it... so I think I figured that it wouldn't hurt his feelings. I was very wrong. The look on his face and the way his entire body just seemed to deplete of any positive energy he had was heartbreaking and it's a moment in my life I wish I could take back.

You may think that I should just get over it. But in all honesty, this is not something I can just get over. The truth is that from grade 4 and all through high school I was the victim of bullying. To know that I may have hurt someone in the same way I was hurt, even if it was one comment... one moment... it's enough to break my heart and wish it hadn't happened.

My bullying was... rough. That's probably an understatement. It got to the point where I would fake being sick in order to not go to school. I actually learned how to manipulate the thermometer to where it would show that I was just under the normal 98.6 degrees. This would make my mom feel that whatever I had was viral and she would allow me to stay home (sorry, Mom). Anything I could do to avoid being called ugly, stupid, a monster... or to have things thrown at me, to be spit at, to be called every name... basically to have ever action I did get judged in such a harsh manner by kids who were the same age as me... the same level of education... from the same areas of town and who knew the same people. All of these "sames" and we were so different. No matter how hard I tried I could never fit in. As a result, I learned to live alone... with in myself. This meant that all during high school when most of the really bad bullying had ceased... I was misunderstood because I was so quiet... and because I was so quiet I was picked on once again. Popularity definitely wasn't my thing in school and it wasn't until college that I was able to slowly come out of my shell. Even now though... retreating to that place I lived for so long alone is my defense mechanism and in times of stress, anger, sadness or loneliness... it's what provides me comfort simply because it's where I lived for so long.

It should come as no surprise that I write this on the brink of our 5th teen suicide since September over bullying, the last one being Tyler Clementi from Rutgers University. It might surprise some to learn that suicide was an option that I critically considered. I'm very glad I didn't. I would've missed out on so much! I would've missed out on falling in love, seeing my brothers get married and make beautiful babies, going to grad-school (twice), having amazing friends... and being there for my mom when she's needed me most. What every one is saying is all true. People change. It won't always be bad and you're life will absolutely get better as has mine and one day you'll even learn to love yourself which as someone whose been bullied can tell you... it's an uphill battle.

Words are significant. Take the time to think before you speak, plan before you act, and live every moment in love. It's with love that we overcome hardships and love can save those children who are being bullied and prevent these all too soon deaths. It only takes one person to care to make a difference.

Please watch these if you haven't seen them yet. The first is Ellen's message and the second is Kathy Griffin's message. Both are important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br7nbQSIyhg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu2JeZn1Uw0

Class dismissed. Be nice to each other.

~H-less

Holding out for a home life

THIS is what it's all about. It's about rolling in the grass and getting licked in the face by your favorite dog. It's about playing pirate ship and figuring out where to hang the flag. It's about making her laugh while she eats her noodles, following him to play in his room and getting pulled in two directions by children who want you to spend time only with them. It's about having chocolate milk spilt on you and painting a picture together, readings stories at night and helping them take baths. It's about driving long distance in your car with all the windows down, hair blowing with the wind and blaring the music as loud as it can go... singing along and not caring that other people are watching. It's about receiving a hug that is the comfort and answer to everything wrong in life.

No matter how bad it seems, how hard it gets, how many pillars are down and how hope threatens to disappear... home is what makes it better and it is good to be here. It's good to feel the love from these kids and enjoy driving again. it's good to have the type of warm weather that only South Florida can have (not so much the humidity though... that doesn't make for good hair days). It's just good... and enjoying this trip will be pretty easy.

Cherish your home life kids... that's my lesson of the day. Hug, love, and laugh often!

Class dismissed.

~H-less

It's Tini Time!

*ring ring--ring ring* goes my cell phone at 8:30 at night. It's my brother... and at this time of night it can only mean one thing.

"hello?" I say.

"Hi Tini!" says the little voice on the other end of the line... filled with enthusiasm and radiating with the type of love that only a child can emanate.

"Hey baby!!! How are you?" I say, doing my best to match his level of excitement.

"Good. I'm gonna pick you up from the airport" which is really pronounced aiwpowt because with this particular child pronouncing R's always comes out as W's... and it just adds to the level of cuteness that he exudes.

"Really, Frankie. Are you gonna drive?"

"Nope"

"Well whose gonna drive the car then?"

"Daddy is!"... he says this to me as if I should've already known. Kind of like saying 'Duh, Tini'.

He continues... "So are you on the airplane?".

I'm laughing as I say "No, baby... Tini will be there Monday so that's 4 days from now"

"4 days?" he questions. Silence briefly consumes the conversation and I can tell he's mulling this over. Then with as much conviction as a 4 year old could possibly muster up he says "No! 2 days".

Laughter. "I'm sorry baby but it's definitely 4 days... but I promise we'll have so much fun when I get there"

More silence ensues which obviously means that Frankie is thinking very hard about what he can say next. Then with even more conviction (and cuteness) he responds "3 days!" ... hoping that we can make a compromise. This runs in the family. One of my brothers would always start off asking mom for more then 1 cookie... I believe the magic number was 5 but I may stand corrected on this. He'd work his way down to one, mom would give him the cookie and he'd spend the entire day walking around with it in his hand until the dog who had been following him all day finally (and most likely out of frustration of having to watch the cookie like a hawk all day) snatched it away from him. After fits of tears the process of cookie compromising would inevitably start once again. So it comes as no surprise to me that this little man spends time trying to get me to come home sooner than my trip is actually booked for.

The fact that he's so excited to see me completely melts my heart and fills every inch of me with utter happiness. It's amazing what the love of a child can bring into your life...

As this conversation goes on I can't help but think about how much I've really missed this little guy... and all my little guys back home (of course including our little princess). I'm so excited to see them it's sick. One might say, I'm too excited to sleep. Hence taking the time to write this out after midnight. So as of Monday I'll be homebound and happy as can be about it!

Hey Frankie... 3 days!!! :-)

~H-less

SHITSS

And here's why...

So as most of you know my summer job has consisted of working in a restaurant/bar that's actually pretty upscale. Not crazy upscale like $100 per person but you can definitely spend a lot of money if you eat a full course meal plus drinks. (the views are also amazing). Anyway, I'm not going to sit here and act as if I'm the most amazing server in the business... I'm definitely not. BUT... I'm not bad at it... I'd venture to say that I'm pretty good. People have a good time with me... I make them laugh and help them feel welcomed and do my best not to desert them even if every one of my tables is full.

Now here's what gets me. When I do have full tables and I'm running around like a chicken that's head is lost because the bar tenders are behind in making my drinks or the kitchen is taking FOREVER to get the food out... it doesn't mean I've forgotten you... it means I'm doing everything in my power to get you whatever it is you ordered as fast as possible. So stop giving me stink eye!

The real reason I wanted to write this though is not because of the amount of stink eye I get from rich, spoiled wives of financial center men who have no control over their kids and make my job a living hell. No... that's not it at all. It's because of the lack of tipping that mostly comes from my friendly international visitors. I understand how horribly cliche and known this already is. "Internationals don't know how to tip" isn't exactly the newest idea of the century. However, given my circumstances in my summer position where I'm depending solely on the income of this job to pay my rent... it sheds a new light to how frustrated I get when I'm encountered with International people who give me a 5 dollar tip on a 95 dollar check, a 2 dollar tip on a 79 dollar check or a 6 dollar tip on a 60 dollar check (obviously that was the best one). For each of these tables the service was absolutely 20% tip worthy.

For those of you who didn't know... the word TIPS stands for To Insure Prompt Service of which you will always get at my restaurant. So foreigners... try and remember that TIPS in America means 15-20%... if you don't comply with these rules I can guarantee you you'll receive what I have newly dubbed SHITSS: Sneaky Hot-headed Italians Taking/Stealing your Shit.

Class dismissed. Bastardos.

Some things are just worth re-posting

Read this article in the Onion and had to laugh out loud! Enjoy!!! :-)

~H-less

8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
'We're Getting The Hell Out Of This Sewer,' Entire Populace Reports
SEPTEMBER 2, 2010 | ISSUE 46•35



NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realizing it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.

With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here," and "Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place," all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.

By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area's three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn't constantly suffocating them.

"I always had this perverted sense of pride because I was managing to scrape by here," said Brooklyn resident Andrew McQuade, who, after watching two subway rats gnawing on a third bloody rat carcass, finally determined that New York City was a giant sprawling cancer. "Well, fuck that. I don't need to pay $2,000 a month to share a doghouse-sized apartment with some random Craigslist dipshit to prove my worth. I want to live like a goddamn human being."

"You see this?" added McQuade, pointing at a real estate listing for a duplex in Hagerstown, MD. "Two bedrooms, two baths, a den—a fucking den—and a patio. Twelve hundred a month. That's total, not per person."

According to residents, the mass exodus was triggered by a number of normal, everyday New York City events. For Erin Caldwell of Manhattan, an endlessly honking car horn sent her over the edge, causing her to go into a blind rage and scream "shut up!" at the vehicle as loud as she could until her voice went hoarse; for Danny Tremba of Queens it was being cursed at for walking too slow; and for Paul Ogden, also of Queens, it was his overreaction to somebody walking too slow.

Other incidents that prompted citizens to pick up and leave included the sight of garbage bags stacked 5 feet high on the sidewalk; the realization that being alone among millions of anonymous people is actually quite horrifying; a blaring siren that droned on and fucking on; muddy, refuse-filled puddles that have inexplicably not dried in three years; the thought of growing into a person whose meanness and cynicism is cloaked in a kind of holier-than-thou brand of sarcasm that the rest of the world finds nauseating; and all the goddamn people.

In addition, 3 million New Yorkers reportedly left the city because they realized the phrase "Only in New York" is actually just a defense mechanism used to convince themselves that seeing a naked man take a shit on a park bench is somehow endearing, or part of some shared cultural experience.

"I was sitting on my stoop, drinking coffee, and out of nowhere this crazy-looking woman just starts screaming, 'I am inside all of you,' over and over," Bronx resident Sarah Perez, 37, said. "Then, we both had this moment where we looked at each other and realized, okay, we have to get out of here."

"This place sucks," Manhattan resident Woody Allen, 74, told reporters. "It just fucking sucks."

When fleeing New Yorkers were asked if they would miss the city's iconic landmarks, most responded that Central Park is just a pathetic excuse for experiencing actual nature, that the Brooklyn Bridge is great but it's just a fucking bridge, that nobody goes to the Met anyway, and that living in a dingy, grime-caked apartment while exhaust fumes from an idling truck seep through your bedroom window isn't worth slightly bigger bagels.

"This is no place to raise a kid, that's for sure," said 32-year-old Brandon Rushing, a lifelong New Yorker. "I grew up here and I turned into a giant asshole. Why would I want that for my son?"

"Plus, we're the place most likely to get nuked by a dirty bomb in a terrorist attack," he added. "So that's great. Also, it smells like shit here, and I'm not exaggerating. You'll just be walking around and it starts smelling like human shit, and it just fills your nostrils and you breathe in shit for like 20 seconds."

Before departing by private helicopter, Mayor Michael Bloomberg spoke with members of the media to address the situation.

"You know what the greatest city in the world is?" Bloomberg asked reporters. "Scottsdale, Arizona. It's clean, it's not too big, it's got a couple streets with shops and restaurants, and the people there aren't fucking insane. This place is fucking insane. And by the way, that's not a reason to like it. Anyone who says that is a delusional dirtbag."

By Tuesday night, New York was completely abandoned. At press time, however, some 10 million Los Angeles–area residents, tired of their self-centered, laid-back culture and lack of four distinct seasons, and yearning for the hustle and bustle of East Coast life, had already begun repopulating the city.